Integrating EFT Couple Therapy with Sex Therapy with Micheal Moran

This month on Sessions, we welcomed Michael Moran, who spoke to Esther about how emotionally focused (EFT) couples therapy and sex therapy are an effective combination when working with couples. 

Michael shares how integrating sex therapy and the benefits of EFT has allowed him to take more risks and create a unique environment for his clients.  He has observed through the combination of EFT and sex therapy practices, a couple's perception of each other changes. They learn the reasons behind their feelings, and their vulnerabilities and strengths are identified, allowing them to play with their erotic energy more confidently. As a stronger relational connection is formed, the desire for sexual connection starts to bubble up in a way it never did before.

According to Michael,  EFT practices help create a safe space for couples to open up to him and each other. Once security and trust are established, it’s a good time to collect a sexual history of each person. Your clients are more open to share honest information. Michael share’s some helpful questions to ask to take inventory:

• What is your earliest memory of sexuality?
• Where did you find pleasure?
• Tell me about your erotic life - do you have no desire, or do you have no desire for your partner?
• What does pleasure mean to you?
• What does erotic energy feel like when you own that energy in your body? What would it look like to walk through your day to day with this energy?

The answers to these questions bring out more challenging emotions of fear, shame, boundary violations, trauma. They paint a picture of how the client’s sexuality evolved and grew, what myths they live under, and what their relationship is to the erotic. The erotic script that unfolds in the presence of the couple begins to change each person’s perception of the other. 

Sign up for your free 15-day trial of Sessions to learn more about the basics of EFT, and how the security and safety created through this model provides a valuable basis for addressing sexuality in couples.